So I knew that a few people would be disappointed in me for my extreme distaste for "Eat, Pray, Love." And I could continue in my arguments that she still is one of the most self-centered women in the world*, but instead I decided to read the other side of the story.Let me first alert you to the fact that "Drink, Play, F#@k" is a FICTITIOUS account by a comedic writer who wrote something he thought Ms. Gilbert's jilted ex SHOULD have written. I totally didn't know this until after I'd researched the book...and this research occurred after the fact. This changed my thoughts on this book completely. The real Slim Shady is publishing a memoir in January of 2010 about his divorce disembowelment and I'll probably read that too!
At first, I was absolutely rooting for Bob (that's Mr. Elizabeth Gilbert). He was just a hard-working schmuck who liked his Audi and loved his wife. He never cheats on Ms. Gilbert, provides for her new-agey pursuits, and only looks at her sister's ass once, but claims it was to marvel at the body-shaping powers of bulimia. Nice guy, right?
Mmmmm, not really. He's just kind of...boring. He goes to Ireland and drinks. He goes to Vegas and gambles. He goes to Thailand and falls in with a Hollywood screenwriter and has the opportunity to have an orgy. So essentially this book was supposed to be the BEST. REVENGE. EVER. Supposed to be, anyway.
He is just as vacuous and greedy as his ex. Knowing now that this is a fictitious account, the "Get Out of Jail Free" card I was going to award Ms. Gilbert is still in the deck. I reeeeealy want that written affirmation that she's super-horrible, but after reading "Drink, Play, F#@k," I would have left Mr. Elizabeth Gilbert, too.
*Yes, Ms. Gilbert did raise money for a single mom in Indonesia, but then waffled on her "generosity" (read: the money her friends gave her) when the single mom decides she needs to take Ms. Gilbert for all she was: an American Cash Cow. It comes as a shock to Ms. Gilbert that ANYone in an impoverished country couldn't see her halo radiating from afar. Luckily, we have Gilbert's rich boyfriend to verify, that indeed people are in need in Indonesia and will find any way to survive - and if that means bleeding a self-righteous American dry, than so be it! The power differential, where the white westerner holds the key for a native Indonesian's salvation just grosses me out.
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Related Videos :below I show related videos and not so related to this article.
Tim Minchin is as brilliant and hilarious as ever as he satires the bible in "The Good Book." I own nothing, obviously, go buy the DVD as Tim Minchin deserves the moolah.
BTW, there's another version on here too (and he should get credit, as he uploaded the video first). Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxXrTRFVUkQ&feature=related
Lyrics:
Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships
And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift
So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift
And like most gifts you get, it was a book
I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know
I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so
If I wanna known how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go
'Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book
I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good
I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would
You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood
You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book
And it is good for cookin'
I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that
The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts
I can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that
And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good
Morality is written there in simple white and black
I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good
And it's a book, and it's a book
I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
But as they grew they started misbehavin'
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
When the creatures in your care start being menaces
The answers can be found right there in Genesis!
Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!
Swing your partner by the hand
Have a baby if you can
But if the voices your head
Say to sacrifice your kid
To satisfy your loving God's
Fetish for dead baby blood
It's simple fate, the Book demands
So raise that knife up in your hand!
Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know
If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go
So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go
And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received
The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse."
The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses."
The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force.
If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book
And it is good, and it's a book!"
Swing your daughter by the hand
But if she gets raped by a man
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!
If you just close your eyes and block your ears
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook
And thank Christ you only have to read one book
Just because the book's contents
Were written generations hence
By hairy desert-dwelling gents
Squatting in their dusty tents
Just because what Heaven said
Was said before they'd leavened bread
Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read
Doesn't mean that we should need
When manipulating human genes
To alleviate pain and fight disease
When deciding whether it's wrong or right
To help the dyin' let go of life
Or stop a pregnancy when it's
Just a tiny blastocyst
There's no reason why we should take a look
At any other book
But the Good Book
'Cause it's good
And it's a book
And it's a book
And it's quite good!
Good is good and evil's bad
And kids get killed when God gets mad
And you'd better take a good look
At the Good Book
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tim_minchin/#share
Stephen King at Walmart in Dundalk, Maryland, November 11, 2009
Questions:
1: What is your favorite story you have written?
2: Will Under the Dome be a movie?
3: Whats the status of the Talisman adaptation?
4: Will your next book be about dundalk, md?
5: Any plans to continue dark tower?
6: How long have you been writing?
7: Will it be returning since its been almost 28 years since it?
8: Do you shop at Walmart?
9: How do you find your inspiration?
10: Any more comics coming out?
11: Do you ever scare yourself?
12: How about them crab cakes?
13: What author would you stand in line for?
14: What character scares you the most?
15: Insomnia movie?
16: Why don't you do more book signings?
17: How is your hip?
18: Would you go back and do a book over?
19: What is the first book you remember writing?
20: Do you ever have nightmares?
21: How did you like the 1408 movie additions?
22: Can I pass this up to you? (Script or book)
23: Marsha needs a raise
24: Another Bachman book?
25: Cell movie?
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